Stories are simply an interpretation of the facts. Stories are not real, but it takes work to separate the two.

The problem is that most of us live our entire lives failing to realize that stories are not facts.

This seemingly simple mistake can actually change trajectory of our lives, yet it is something completely in our control.

Some of our beliefs may be true, some sorta true, and others completely false.

We can only change the outcome when we recognize the source, acknowledge that stories DO NOT always equal facts, and begin to create NEW (better!) stories.

Here’s an example of a story playing out:

(Note: the following is an example, and the Real Life was a bit more complex, but in the interest of protecting the privacy of family dynamics, I simplified it.)

Fact: My mom + dad are divorced.

Story: Marriages in my family fall apart.

Fact: I have had relationships that have ended.

Story: I’m not fit for marriage

Fact: My mom + dad are divorced + I have had relationships that have ended.

Story: I will never get married I’m undeserving and meant to be alone.

… that was the story I told myself.

It wasn’t that I didn’t think I deserved love- exactly, because I was actually pretty good at the finding love & the even harder part, finding someone to love me. The issue was that I was way better at the part where I f*cked it all up. It was a story on repeat where I tested boundaries, pushed too hard, and ended up alone- even when its not what I wanted.

But, I’ve unraveled my stories, gotten to know them really well, and as a result, get that they are just STORIES and not the facts.

I didn’t snap my fingers for things to become magically different.

Aside from my own work, I got lucky and found a man to help me. In the past, the men in my life took my actions (and words that I oftentimes didn’t mean) personally, and walked away. 

My current fiance, Evan, is like a wall that won’t move.

I pushed hard to make this (relation) ship sink, but he never let me destroy us.

He showed me how to communicate, how to fight (properly), how to apologize (for things I said that I didn’t mean) and how to move on- like actually really move on and not hold a grudge or resentment.

When we’re not working together, I’m working on myself, both on my own and in therapy.

So, it’s not that I didn’t think I deserved love, but I didn’t think I was capable of this – real love and the great things that come with it.

That’s no longer the case. I know I want a family, and I know I deserve one (G-d willing). Knowing I want that has allowed me to crush the story that I don’t get to have it.

And as a result, I’m planning a wedding + I’m taking you along for the ride.

Last week we had our first site visit, tasted the food, and worked with our design team.

Head here to watch the BEHIND THE SCENES and learn when and where we’re doing it. I’m so grateful for this audience and you’re interest in my personal life. I personally love to share this with you as its not just about the wedding, it’s about my journey.

As always, thanks for letting me share my whole heart with you.

Do you have stories you tell yourself?

My challenge to you is to start to notice what you’re telling yourself about everything.

Share in the comments!