Sooo I left the first trimester like this 🧟🧟🧟🧟 and entered the second trimester ready to freakin’ PARTY💃💃💃 🎉🎉🎉
I had just spent 12 miserable weeks in my bed, crawling to and from various parts of my house (literal crawling, this isn’t hyperbole), and I didn’t have one moment where nausea and doubt didn’t haunt me. The first trimester was… not great (follow me for lessons in making sweeping understatements!).
As weeks 13/14 came around, I started to feel like ME again, and WOW did it feel good, good, good.
The energy! The appetite! The desire to want to move my body joyfully – plus a little bumpyyy to show🤰 for what’s been causing the chaos!
P.S. I “popped” pretty early due to the placement of my placenta being in the back, and baby up in the front.
Best of all, excitement and SOME feelings of relief replaced where doubt previously left its mark.
But, after few weeks of blissful living, without a focus on the future, and planning ALL THE THINGS, it was time to take advantage of *feeling good* and get begin the heavy lifting and planning for Baby S – just in case, the third trimester would shape out differently.
Plot twist: I’m putting the finishing touches of this blog post together from the third trimester, and the nursery is FULLY under construction, I haven’t chosen a pediatrician, and I truly have no idea what supplies I need ASAP! ALSO, the body pain hit me like a tornado, and I’m not nearly as active or able to lift, walk, move, etc. I’ll save that for a third-trimester post!
All in all, I’m glad I made some of the big choices while I could, during the second trimester.
CHILLIN’ AND CHOICES
… that’s what I’ll call the second trimester. It was a time to chill and enjoy the good stuff, but also a critical time to MAKE DECISIONS related to the nursery (ordering furniture takes months), firming up my birth “preferences”, and considering what life would be like with a newborn.
Despite loving the higher energy and having a brain that was WORKING AGAIN (!!), I was also very intentional about not putting too much on my plate under (unknown) pretenses that I’d feel like this for the remainder of the pregnancy.
I taught a bunch of FREE yoga classes – but all were impromptu, and I was very careful to not over-commit to anything physically or mentally.
We went on a trip to Miami for Evan’s birthday which was SO fun and needed. I loved sportin’ a bikini and bump on the beach, and even decided it was the appropriate time to start wearing thong bikinis. 😂🤷♀️
I turned down a lot of work opportunities because I wanted to give myself RADICAL permission to take it day-by-day and assess how I feel – and I’m really glad I did that.
BIG CHOICES
NURSERY SELECTIONS
There was a lot to learn here, and I’m definitely still learning. At the onset, I found myself wanting to go *perfectly* non-toxic for just about everything but struggling to find the RIGHT THING at the RIGHT PRICE that would ALSO arrive on time.
After a few days of feeling information inundation and finding myself in decision-making-paralysis, I realized that NO CHOICE was worse than making the less-than-perfect choice.
When it comes to all things non-toxic (not just baby!), the information can be like quicksand, eating you up whole and leaving you unable to move forward.
Instead, I did my best, looked for certifications I could trust, and also remembered that babies have been okay without the most perfect nursery – or environment – and that we can’t actually AVOID all toxins in this life.
I did take have an online program, created by interior designer Deborah Dimare, that I thought was a good starting place for parents interested in vegan + non-toxic conscious choices.
I’m still making choices about the nursery in the third trimester, but I got going on the essentials – crib, dresser, glider. We also decided to renovate the baby’s bathroom to put in a tub – so the room is completely under construction until that is done and nothing can be put IN the room until that’s complete, dust is removed, and carpet is laid.
CREATING A REGISTRY
At first, I was anti-registry – it felt wedding-esque, and we just had our wedding (!!!), and I’m still f*rking fatigued and don’t love the idea of people feeling like they need to get us a gift!!!
However, I decided to register using BabyList because it allows you to add links from everywhere rather than just shop at one place. My link is private for now, so I’ll share it with family/friends who ask for it. I thought it was a really helpful tool to stay organized on brands/products I like and need in one place for my own personal reminders! I put everything from organic formula (just in case breastfeeding doesn’t work out) to diaper bags to cute clothing brands etc.
BIRTH PREFERENCES VS. “A BIRTH PLAN”
Given all the unsolicited advice and differences of opinions out there, I’ve decided that the best way to stick to my intuition is to SHUT THE DOORS on the noise, and simply not invite everyone in. Meaning, as I mentioned on Instagram, I won’t be sharing the details of my “birth preferences” until after giving birth – I (currently) plan to share what I wanted vs. what I received (and all the details!) but, it will be AFTER THE FACT. I’m not a labor expert here, this is my first time, and I need to stay most connected to what is TRULY BEST IN THE MOMENT without having to hear outside opinions.
Why I don’t call it a birth plan: no birth goes as planned- just a fact. I see my job, as mama and birthing person to pivot and do whatever is necessary so that birth is safe for me and baby – even if that means not having the EXACT birth “plan” or experience I’m currently envisioning. That’s why I call it a preference– cause that’s all it is.
The same goes with a “due date.” EVERYBODY WANTS TO KNOW MY EXACT DUE DATE!! I’m not sharing that because it’s meaningless to me – it’s really a “guess date” as babies aren’t born after a precise number of days. Most cultures actually have a “due month” vs. giving the mom a date, because we don’t know – and every baby and birth is different! Plus, I recognize that pregnant people have enough comparisons going on inside their heads, I don’t need/want anyone judging their experience of me via social media to their reality. So, I keep it a little vague – for me, and for you.
BUT! I’ll be ready any time starting in August and won’t freak out if it’s a few weeks before, or after that given “due date” the doctors have given me.
BIRTH CLASSES
Getting educated on birth, hospital protocols, medication options, and what they do, plus what to expect was KEY for me- so I am all about the classes. My best friend said that taking a birth class was giving her more anxiety and she went ahead and delivered a beautiful baby girl named Zoe!
So this is totally a personal choice- and please don’t feel it is a must. In fact, I the more classes I take, the more instinctual I realize this whole thing really is.
But I’m the type that likes to learn- as soon as I learned I was pregnant, I had 20 books at my door ready to read on pregnancy, birth, parenting, etc. I am, in fact, a big dork on the inside.
When looking into classes, at first I was putting an unnecessary amount of pressure on finding THE PERFECT CLASS, taught by THE PERFECT HUMAN. Just like the nursery, this left me unable to make a choice. Eventually, I just picked what felt good without overthinking it.
Most classes allow for the partner, but since Evan’s hours are unpredictable, I’ll mainly be tackling the birth classes alone and giving him the cliff notes of how he can support me. He says he’s a fast learner – and I sure hope he’s right!! I know a lot of people may shy away from taking a class if their partner can’t make it, and I just want to remind you that you can 100% take the class yourself.
Class 1) HypnoBirthing. You can learn about it in this post on Instagram. I encourage you to also read the comments in this post as many women told their LOVELY birth stories which were FAR DIFFERENT than any experiences I’ve heard of from my friends/media. I’m taking a class led by Sara Kramer, which is offered every month. I find Sara’s energy to be a great match for me and was SHOCKED to find myself completely “in the zone” during our practice self-hypnosis sessions. You can also just buy the book – which although won’t give you the same tools, may help you shift your birth thoughts.
Class 2) I also took a general birthing class that was supposed to be in person, local, and led by a doula and acupuncturist. It was 10 hours long. Life happened and didn’t get to attend in person. The teacher was gracious enough to turn on zoom and still let me join. From a content perspective, I thought it was helpful but repetitive to what I learned in hypnobirthing (minus the Hypno stuff). But from a hands-on, pressure point use, rebozo technique, etc point of view, I’m not sure I walked away with as much as those who were there in person. In sum- it was a great class, but I wish I could have gone in person! If you’re local to Long Island and looking to learn more about this in-person option (it does not include meditation/hypnosis tools), feel free to reach out and I’ll give you the info!
While this isn’t a labor class, I’ll also be taking advantage of the options over at Tinyhood – I’m halfway through Baby101 right now which preps you for what to do AFTER the baby is born. You can take advantage of their already great prices using my code: Lisa20 for any Tinyhood Courses.
DOULA SUPPORT
I hoped to have this all figured out by the first trimester – I certainly didn’t think I’d be writing this by end of the second trimester without a doula selected. This was another area I was putting a lot of pressure on finding the “perfect” person to support me.
If you’re unfamiliar with a doula, a doula is your “person” during labor. They’re the person that gets you through hard stuff, allows your partner to take a break, and can help advocate for your birth preference or learn how you can advocate for yourself when situations change. They can also help with lactation support, and even baby care, too. They do NOT replace the medical professional.
Because they play an intimate role, if you’re having one, I think it’s important that your energies match.
In the final week of the 2nd trimester, I secured my doula! She has 10+ years of experience, is incredibly calming, and understands her role is to support me, and support Evan supporting me, and step back when her work is not essential. I have not met her in person yet, but truly hope she’s as fantastic as I think she’ll be for me.
ON MY MIND
To my surprise, I’ve developed a fear of labor! I’m surprised as pre-pregnancy, this wasn’t a conscious fear of mine – and since pregnancy, I’ve only learned how NATURAL it is for women to do, which is one of the reasons I don’t want to talk about it online.
Despite learning about how natural birth is, the deep-seated idea (reality?) that it is EXCRUCIATING is scaring me!
Not because I’m afraid of pain- I actually have a high pain tolerance in general, but because I’m afraid that I won’t be able to discern what is normal pain and what is not normal pain and therefore I won’t be able to make the best choices.
What also scares me is that for many first-time moms, labor can be DAYS LONG! and that gives me all sorts of life-planning anxiety – that I will come to terms with.
SECOND-TRIMESTER SYMPTOMS CHANGES
Pants/clothing no longer fit. Time to size up/get some maternity special pieces. I mainly just invested in leggings as I wear leggings every day – I also love Hatch and select pieces from A Pea In The Pod.
I love the Beyond Yoga space dye leggings.
I mainly bought regular clothes in different styles that I normally wear. I love straight spandex dresses which previously were DEFINITELY not my vibe!!
Heavy pelvic pain as the baby gets heavier. At first, this was sporadic, then it turned into a real struggle for me. Grateful for some exercises on spinning babies which allow for taking some pressure off.
Little to no nausea at the beginning, non by middle/end
Sleeping was way better than first-trimester insomnia but at the tail end of this trimester, sleep is getting harder. A friend recommends the Snoogle – and I promise you and your partner will fight about it.
Frequent urges to urinate (but with not a lot of urine). Surprising to me is that I don’t have to pee a lot – it just FEELS like I do. I get to the toilet after sprinting there, and nothing comes out!! Baby S apparently thinks my bladder is a bouncy house!!
Nose bleeds – the first half of this trimester was filled with bloody tissues and nose bleeds.
Vaginal discharge – yup, lots of it 🙂
More energy! Brain functioning! – loved this part!
Crusty nipples – To my surprise, you may find some leaking in 2nd trimester. I did. It was very little, but an exciting (yet strange) change.
Spider veins near the surface of the skin on the belly, hands, and other surfaces.
The best part of this trimester is the KICKS and movement, which began at 18 weeks. For most women’s first pregnancy, this starts later. The reason that I can feel it, per my doctor, is because of the anterior placement of my placenta. Women who have posterior placenta placement will feel less as the placenta will act as a cushion. This baby is WILD!!! So active that I’m convinced it will come out walking, talking, and ready to party (or fight).
BEST ADVICE I GOT:
– Wear the seatbelt below the belt!!! (this was an Insta DM tip that I was SO grateful for, that no health care provided told me!)
– Make choices, and remember, you can ALWAYS change your mind.
Let’s see what the third trimester brings!
