I’m NOT EVEN GOING TO TRY to sugarcoat 2020. There’s NO DOUBT that this year has challenged our resilience & wellbeing in the most remarkable of ways. Instead, I’ll share how I’ve been coping with feeling ANGER AND FRUSTRATIONS.
I’ve learned to SHINE LIGHT into these DARK PLACES.
In June, I made a TRANSFORMATIONAL CHOICE.I got lucky, really – I enrolled in a 6-week mindfulness course. When I signed up, I for sure thought I’d learn something, but I NEVER expected a 6-week program (that I paid less than $300 for, mind you) COULD OR WOULD CHANGE MY LIFE & ALTER MY CONSCIOUSNESS.
The Power of Awareness unexpectedly ended up being “MY OPENING” as referenced in the above quote. It was HERE that I found MY MAGIC !
This program did (and continues to do) a number on my consciousness, but one of the most profound ways it has changed me, has been my approach to dealing with ANGER.
It has changed how i deal with
- My OWN ANGER and
- My approach to dealing with ANGRY people
On a mind-body PERSONAL front, the program helped me actually learn WHAT ANGER feels like in my life. In my body, it feels itchy and supppper uncomfortable. I see it as a SIGNAL from my body that something hurts.
While it’s easy to latch onto and REACT FROM, treating anger as I have my entire life BLOCKS me from dealing with my pain buried beneath.
Therefore, anytime I’ve “won” using anger to propel me into arguments, I’m not actually getting to the root of what’s REALLY bothering me- and therefore, don’t get to FEEL GOOD just because I “won.”
Learning to flag this feeling, and respond DIFFERENTLY, has helped SOFTEN me in life’s hardest moments where all I wanna do is GO OFF.
Lemme be clear – this is not an emotional avoidance technique – we’re not AVOIDING ANGER. I REPEAT- WE ARE NOT AVOIDING ANGER, AND ANGER IS NOT BAD. Oftentimes, we have a RIGHT to be angry or frustrated, but without understanding what’s beneath it, we create MUCH more pain for ourselves.
Instead, we see that anger is a CLUE that we need to pause, breathe, and dive deeper below the anger that we’re too scared to face!!
As humans, we like to be angry cause it’s tangible. There’s ACTION to take, and ACTION feels like control.
We yell, we scream – WE FIGHT. We use the rage we feel inside to justify how passionate we are. But when we’re angry, we’re not listening anymore- this makes us awful communicators.
Despite all the angry people in the world, I don’t think people actually like to be angry, despite its tangibility. Or better, I don’t think people like to REMAIN ANGRY.
I personally HATE how anger feels in my body. It’s dark energy keeping me up at night. It steals from me being the best, brightest ME.
Anger is the emotion that hardens the heart and makes us close up and become defensive.
I like to have a soft ♡ o p e n h e a r t ♡ that listens and responds.
People (self included!) cling to anger STUBBORNLY because they’re afraid to deal with the HURT that is below it. They think they need ANGER TO FIGHT FOR WHAT IS RIGHT. But truth is, I think we like anger because it avoids us from softening– going deep into our hearts.
As a result -our hearts more and more over time.
With consciousness awareness around human behavior, a lot starts to fall into place. I don’t want to grow older and become angrier and bitter and hate more and more!! I wan to feel love, spread love, and use love to tackle what anger never could for me.
I want to bring good energy wherever I go, better understanding myself and others and our shared human emotions. That starts with me, dealing with what is UNDER the anger –oftentimes pain and hurt.
From politics to personal life — using mindfulness skills to get beneath the surface of everything we see/hear has been my BIG MONEY MOVE!
It’s allowed me to LISTEN with intent, stay PRESENT in conversations with those who hold different opinions!!, and AVOID being defensive (or rude) if I’m being held accountable.
Despite how it looks on the ‘gram, this summer has been challenging for me in personal ways. However, it’s been AWESOME to put these new skills to the test! Anger is my clue to turn inward. The more I shift away from anger, the more I’m present and compassionate, and the better I articulate my needs vs. focusing on proving “I’m right”.
Doesn’t the world need more of that!?!?!?
I end up getting more of what I want because I’m listening to my deepest needs, and getting it out into the world in a way that others then understand on a deep emotional level.
